


I Never Stopped Calling You Home

by indecisivelarry



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Listen Marvel may be a coward for not giving us the stucky reunion we deserve, M/M, Post-Black Panther (2018), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), but guess what???, im not, infinity war comes out in less than a week and i'm emotional, this is short please don't yell at me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 11:57:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14401662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indecisivelarry/pseuds/indecisivelarry
Summary: “He is awake”That’s all the message says.





	I Never Stopped Calling You Home

**Author's Note:**

> “I’m not dying for you”  
> but the minute I said those words I knew they were a lie
> 
> because I’ll fight with you  
> I’ll bleed with you  
> and the world will fall if I can’t save you
> 
> but more than that, I’ll stay with you after  
> I’ll wash the blood from your skin  
> and hold you arms like you’re the only oath I’ve ever kept
> 
> because the minute I hold your gaze and the universe falls silent  
> I know that the heart that pounds in this room is not mine or yours  
> it’s the heart we’ve created with the broken pieces of each other
> 
> — Unfinished Stories #620 by Abby S

“He is awake”

That’s all the message says. Ten minutes later a huge black spaceship is outside his door. Steve doesn’t think twice.

__________

The room he’s in is has the largest windows he has ever seen. The immensity of Wakanda is right in front of him. Flying cars and endless busy streets. If he weren’t shaking from the nerves he might actually be able to enjoy the view.

For Steve Wakanda is saying goodbye without any tears. Wakanda is the holder of a piece of his heart. 

There are a couple big couches at his left but he physically can’t move from where he’s standing at. He’s facing the door and trying to remember he has to take breaths of air if he wants to continue living.

King T'Challa greeted him when he touched down and guided him with a firm hand on his shoulder to this room. He said his friend will be there in a couple minutes. Steve’s mind can’t comprehend a single thing.

He has been hiding for the past year. Traveling from town to town alone. He needed time to think about the last 7 years. Since 2011 he felt like he had been running. He wanted a time out.

And now he’s here. Wishing he could run away and stay exactly where he is at the same time. 

At last, the door opens. Steve feels a bizarre déjà vu feeling of having asthma again. For some reason this feels like the biggest moment of his entire life. And that’s saying a lot. 

Bucky’s eyes land on Steve. He’s wearing a dark purple mantle and a small necklace with what looks like a wooden shaped wolf. He looks breathtaking. Bucky smiles. 

Suddenly Steve’s 8 years old in the school yard laughing at Bucky’s stupid joke. He’s 14 crying in Bucky’s arms during the worst winter they’ve ever had after the doctors told him he’s too weak to make it through. He’s 18 drunk with only three sips of beer and he can’t stop looking at Bucky’s lips. 

Bucky hasn’t moved. Just keeps looking at him. God help him.

Steve’s not sure who moved first, he doesn’t fucking care. They meet in the middle. His arms around Bucky’s shoulders, and Bucky’s tight arm around his waist.

He’s here. He’s here. He’s here.

And without warning they are both laughing. How can they not? They survived world war two, Steve crashed a plane into the ocean, Bucky’s brain is upside down, Steve is six feet tall, Bucky’s hair is down his shoulders and has only one arm, they are in a secret futuristic African country and they are laughing.

The tears come quick, but they taste like victory for a change.

“Oh Buck”, Steve whispers against his throat.

“Hi”, Bucky says taking a step back and looking at Steve’s red eyes. 

“You look great”

“I feel great too”, Bucky says with a sheepish smile, “Everybody here has been so nice to me”.

With a sharp pang in his chest Steve is reminded once again about the fact that he hasn’t been treated with a single drop of human decency in the past decades. It’s a pain he knows will last until his last breath escapes his mouth.

“Princess Shuri made me remember almost everything”, Bucky says in wonder. “A year ago I could barely remember my name”

Once again guilt feels like poison in his stomach. Steve shouldn’t go there. Not now. Not when things seem to be better, when it feels like they have finally won. But these words pour out of him with the same urgency a sinner asks for forgiveness from a priest.

“I’m sorry you had to go through all of this Buck…Back then in the train…I should’ve been quicker, I should’ve fell with y-”

“Stop it”, Bucky rises his hand. Sharp and serious. “That’s not your burden”

“But you fell for me”, Steve replies stubbornly,”the hellicarriers…” 

His mind will never let him forget that the moment it was on his end to jump and save him, he didn’t do it. But when it was Bucky’s turn he did it. Messed up brain and everything. 

“How could you have known that I would survive?”, Bucky asks. 

Silence.

“Exactly. You couldn’t”, he places his hand on Steve’s neck. “It happened and it’s done. Nothing to do about it. I don’t have to forgive you about anything. Believe me when I say I know you would move heaven and earth for me. I mean, that’s what you have done your entire life you punk. So please try to forgive yourself.”

“But-”

“Do it for me Steve”, Bucky is looking at him like he’s the one who has gone through hell and back to life again. He doesn’t deserve him.

“Now tell me how you’ve been. You have always sucked at taking care of yourself after all. I mean look at that beard! Who knew you had hair hormones in there.”, he says laughing. 

Steve could cry.

__________

They spent the entire evening walking outside the palace. They talked, and talked, and talked until they emptied their minds with all the truths that burned inside of them. Until they caused floods with them.

They talked in silence, in sudden fits of laughter, even more in quiet tears. 

Sunset greeted them in the horizon when they were lying down on the grass in front of a small lake. 

“A war is coming Buck”, Steve suddenly whispers. He’s been dreading this moment since he has arrived. 

“Isn’t there always one?”, Bucky replies bitterly.

Steve hopes someday Bucky will never have to use that tone ever again. He wishes he could return a shade of innocence to his tired eyes. Just a tiny bit.

“You don’t have to come.” he says firmly. Please don’t come, his heart whispers. Please come, his heart whispers again. How treacherous someone can be?

“Oh but Steve. Catch this: I will”.

Relief? Anger? Frustration? Make up your mind Steve goddammit.

Bucky’s looking at him now. There is a tiny smile at the edge of his lips. Sarah Rogers called it “the Barnes grin”. She used to say it only meant trouble. 

“I mean, who else is going to watch your back?”, he continues, “You’re not getting rid of me Rogers. For a very long time if I can help it”.

That’s all I want, Steve wants to say. But you still have to rest, it’s too soon for you to gear up again, please don’t make me watch you get hurt again. He can’t bring himself to say out loud any of these things of course. 

“Someday I’ll give you the ending you deserve”, he promises. 

Bucky looks at him like he believes him.

**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna chat find me on tumblr! I'm @protectingstucky


End file.
